The Lisa Marie Nowak Lesson: Getting Help Before You Get Desperate

According to the International Herald Tribune and other sources: In theory, astronauts can get all the psychological help they need with no stigma. But a NASA flight surgeon says no -- there can be consequences. In my experience, anyone who's in a senior military, government, corporate or other position will be reluctant to seek psychological support, and with good reason. (1) We're used to having insurance pay for everything. And if insurance doesn't cover a medical problem, we want to take it off our taxes. Reasonable. But sometimes it's better to pay out-of-pocket, in cash, to get confidentiality. No insurance, no records. (2) Coaches and consultants are popular because there's little or no stigma. A corporate consultant with a PhD in organizational psychology can have meetings alone with the CEO to discuss "strategy." Chaplains and clergy also can be consulted, and some are trained to offer more than simple bromides. Remember the soldiers who were involved in the Abu Ghraib prison scandal? Military chaplains would have been a good choice: no black mark for visiting and they could document thir concerns for the record. (3) Employee assistance programs can be staffed inadequately for senior managers. I once worked for a university that proudly announced a new EAP -- with counselors who would be paid $35 an hour in the late 1990s. No professor with a PhD would consider seeking help from someone at that level. I've been told that some EAP's have separate counselors for executives -- a good idea. (4) Often workplaces just create stress. You don't have to be in NASA. One of my students had been a nurse for a financial company that was widely hailed as a great place to work. We even watched a film about "great companies" where her firm was featured prominently. But, she said, the pressures were extreme. Managers would come to the nurse's office to get aspirin and sometimes they would sit and shake or cry. It was okay to be sick but not okay to be stressed. (5) When it comes to taking care of yourself, you're on your own. Time to relax and rejuvenate has to be a priority. Eating junk food and giving up sleep...well, if you're 22 and motivated, you can last a while. But most of us pay. The words "sacrifice for a career" have to be taken seriously. Certainly most of us would say it's worth the risk to be an astronaut or a company CEO or US president. I'm amazed when people sacrifice for so much less. The lesson from the tragedy of Lisa Marie Nowak is to find ways to stay centered in a challenging life.