[Great Career Tips] Serious Career Advice from a Light-Hearted Reality TV Show

The Bachelor - a popular reality TV show - offers an example of how we absolutely, positively should not make career decisons. Premise: A very eligible Bachelor (such as a handsome young doctor or NFL quarterback) stays in a mansion with several eligible young women. They seem to spend their days swimming, tanning, and speculating about the Bachelor's intentions. They meet the Bachelor in one-to-one and group activities. Each week the Bachelor gives a rose to the women who will continue to compete, and two who do not receive a rose go home. (If you're a more faithful viewer than I am, please email me with corrections!) So what can we learn about career reality from this reality show? The Bachelor - a popular reality TV show - offers an example of how we absolutely, positively should not make career decisons. Premise: A very eligible Bachelor (last season featured an NFL quarterback) stays in a mansion with several eligible young women. They seem to spend their days swimming, tanning, and speculating about the Bachelor's intentions. They meet the Bachelor in one-to-one and group activities. Each week the Bachelor gives a rose to the women who will continue to compete, and two who do not receive a rose go home. (If you're a more faithful viewer than I am, please email me with corrections!) So what can we learn about career reality from this reality show? The Bachelor - a popular reality TV show - offers an example of how we absolutely, positively should not make career decisons. Premise: A very eligible Bachelor (last season featured an NFL quarterback) stays in a mansion with several eligible young women. They seem to spend their days swimming, tanning, and speculating about the Bachelor's intentions. They meet the Bachelor in one-to-one and group activities. Each week the Bachelor gives a rose to the women who will continue to compete, and two who do not receive a rose go home. (If you're a more faithful viewer than I am, please email me with corrections!) So what can we learn about career reality from this reality show? 1. Walk out the front door of your comfort zone. From the women's perspective, The Bachelor is a metaphor for the wrong kind of job hunting. Whenever you're one of a group chasing the same dream, it's difficult to create a realistic game plan and use energy efficiently. But they're chosen to compete and it's so easy to get caught up in the game. Career changers, of course, aren't stuck in a mansion with a single prize, however dazzling. Like the contestants, though, they can get awfully comfortable. Better to walk out the front door and keep looking until you recognize your true goal and the ink is dry on the offer letter. 2. Prepare for irrational rejection. If you choose to stay and compete, remember that the decision-maker is looking for reasons to eliminate options because there are just too many choices to evaluate rationally. Interviewers overwhelmed by hundreds of resumes often can find an adequate choice from the first fifty ­ or from any fifty chosen at random. You can't read anything into rejection except the laws of probability and randomness. 3. Look through the windows: there's a world outside! When you're caught up in an intense contest, it's easy to forget there's more than one race in the world and certainly more than one prize. And I believe everyone should pursue multiple goals at the same time. It sounds time-consuming, but usually you can achieve synergies by creative planning. You learn how to pursue one goal by striving after another. And most important, you're likely to come out a winner. 4. Recognize that choices look different when you're on deadline. From the Bachelor's perspective, there are pluses and minuses to this series of forced decisions. First, it's easy to procrastinate when you face a tough decision. A deadline often clarifies options and actually makes the choice easier. But when you're facing a complex decision with consequences that last for years, where a mistake can be costly, it's best to take more time. 5. Don't anticipate the final decision until the ink is dry on the contract. Nothing happens until you get the offer in writing. In one episode, the Bachelor took two different finalists to the same jewelry store to look at engagement rings! Even after you've looked at rings together, the show seems to say, you're not even engaged to be engaged. (We won't go into the ethical dimensions of these actions in the context of romance. But would you want to accept a rose ­ or a ring ­ from someone who just went through the same process with a different potential partner?) I've heard first-hand accounts of verbal offers that were withdrawn or materially changed by the time they were translated to writing. And even written offers can be withdrawn for sufficient reason. During times of stress, people make promises they don't intend to keep, and others hear promises that were never intended to go beyond light banter. Bottom Line: It's no accident that Bachelor match-ups seem to fall apart when the season ends. And it's no accident that great decisions lead to empowering, satisfying, meaningful lives. Career Consultant Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. created the 21-Day Extreme Career Makeover guide for midlife professionals who want to transform career breakdowns to career breakthroughs. Get started here. Download your fr*e Report: Why Most Career Change Fails (and how to write your own success story) Sign up now.

[Career information] An end to the crystal ball

Q. “Time for a career change! I’ve got a terrific idea for a service targeted to first-time home buyers and real estate agents. And I’ve got a year’s salary in the bank. “My friends say, ‘Go for it!’ But my business advisor warns, ‘If the real estate market slows down, your idea won’t work.’ How can I forecast the real estate market?” A. Did you hear a crashing sound? That was my crystal ball, shattering. Believe me, if I could predict markets, I would be writing this ezine from a penthouse in Trump Tower. A limo would be idling on the street, waiting to drive Gracie and me to an elite dog park... Back to reality. When you can’t predict events but you need to protect your future, your question shifts from “What will happen?” but “What would I do if X happens?” Let’s face it: Sometimes we need to carry an umbrella even if the sun is shining and we have an “all clear” forecast. (1) How well do you know your target market? Clients who consider starting a business usually worry about getting a business license, finding health insurance and accumulating capital. Sure, these areas are important. But what you really need are customers. In my experience, success comes most easily to those who speak the language of their target market and have direct access to potential customers. For example, you could be prominent in the real estate community. Or you might be an accountant or marketing pro with many clients in the real estate field. (2) What are your red, green and yellow lights? Once an investor said, “I can’t predict the devaluation of the dollar. But I have identified the maximum tolerable devaluation that I can handle. If the dollar goes below that level, I know what actions I will take.” You can do the same. Each business (and each job) will have different benchmarks. But you can decide ahead of time when you will pull out, invest more aggressively, or slow down. (3) What is your Plan B? What is your most pessimistic scenario? And what will you do? “I can always go back to my current career” is not a Plan B. Ideally, I recommend running your Plan B parallel to your new venture, for at least six months to a year. Plan B’s include (but are not limited to) a spouse’s job, second business or part-time income stream. (4) Can you test the waters? Often you can start on a small scale, part time basis to see if the market is ready for your idea. More important, you also decide if you like your new world. If you’re not competing with your employer, you may be able to get an unpaid leave of absence to test your venture. These sabbaticals are rare, and you have to be careful with the way you phrase your request. But it happens. (5) Have you cast a wide enough net? When it’s time for a change, you probably have to consider a move. In my experience, frustrated workers tend to experience physical symptoms. Some even sabotage their own success so they’re forced to find a new career. Few professionals have just one (and only one) passion. And once you begin exploring, you will find alternative paths to career success and fulfillment. Trouble making decisions? Visit Grab my non-woo-woo guide to intuition. Or consider some consultations.

[Career information] Job Search Through The Want Ads

You’ve probably heard the warning: Only 20% of jobs are advertised. But numbers can be deceiving. Throughout my own winding road career path, I've found most of my jobs by answering ads. And I’ve taught my own clients how to use ads effectively during their job search. Every career plan calls for more than one strategy. Networking, connecting with recruiters and visiting your university placement office all play a part. But that’s no reason to neglect want ads. – if you know how. (1) Choose your want ads. Professional publications will be more helpful than Craigslist and your city’s daily newspapers. Even if you’re networking or working with a recruiter, you can use your professional publication to discover what’s out there and what leading firms are seeking. (2) Protect yourself when answering blind ads. If you’re currently employed, I recommend steering away from blind ads. I’ve actually met a few people who responded to blind ads from their own employers. And if you’re self-employed, protect yourself against unethical recruiters who want to send your resume to every employer in town. Add a paragraph along the lines of: "If you are a recruiter, please send my resume only to the employer associated with the position advertised in [publication and date]. Call me before sending my resume elsewhere.” (3) Apply for positions even if you are only partially qualified. One rule of thumb: If you’re missing one or two “must haves” listed in the ad, go ahead and apply. Otherwise wait. But I would say, “If you really need or want a job, stop counting!” A few careers ago, I answered an ad for a job for which I was vastly overqualified. The hiring manager pulled my resume and suddenly I was being interviewed for a higher level position. When you’re missing a few “must haves,” a strong “yes” in one area can sometimes overcome a few “no’s.” (4) Answer ads for distant locations based on the publication. You’re considering a move to Great City, You look in business publications and local newspapers and sure enough, you see jobs! Set up a time a visit and include in your cover letter: “I’ll be in Great City from – to -- . “ BUT if you’re answering an ad from a national publication, use your current address and don’t discuss your plans to move. You may be benefit from the Not Invented Here syndrome (i.e., whatever’s outside is better.) Companies that advertise in the Wall Street Journal or an industry publication (such as the Chronicle of Higher Education) have chosen to reach a national and international market. Most of the time they’ve budgeted for relocation and don’t care where you’re living. (5) Recognize you’re shooting dice. Often companies have no idea what they want. I’ve seen hiring managers get an “aha” moment after they see a candidate: “I didn’t realize I needed X but...” The wording of an ad may be dictated by custom. Sometimes an ad is nothing more than a wish list. Sometimes an ad doesn’t mean the company has a real job. Companies may want to see who’s out there. The hiring manager already chose the boss’s nephew but they’re forced to run an ad (and maybe even interview candidates) to comply with legal and corporate regulations. Bottom Line: I wouldn’t count on getting a job by answering want ads. But I wouldn’t ignore want ads as a source of jobs either, regardless of the position. What’s your experience with want ads? Reply to this ezine with your story. I answer all emails within 2 business days – if you don’t hear from me, your email has entered a black hole. Career Consultant Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. created the 21-Day Extreme Career Makeover guide for midlife professionals who want to transform career breakdowns to career breakthroughs. Learn more. Fr*e Report: Why Most Career Change Fails (and how to write your own success story) Download here. 10 Most Frequently Asked Questions About Finding a Job Through the Want Ads Learn more. Complete Job Search Guide

[Midlife Crisis Career Change] Book Review: Attractor Factor

During a midlife career crisis, many of us experiment with new ideas. Nearly everyone considers applying Law of Attraction principles to our lives.   Attractor Factor was recommended by someone I respect, and of course I'd heard of Joe Vitale,  so I put aside my skepticism and began reading. Click here to order. If you've been walking around feeling negative, this book may help. When you feel positive and in control, you're more likely to think clearly. That's psychology of mood. And if you always turn right instead of left, you can change your life. Natalie Goldberg made that point in her excellent book, Thunder and Lightning . And if you're not feeling desperate, you have more power and more confidence, which in turn brings clearer thinking. Parts of Vitale's advice can be difficult for an ordinary person to follow. For instance, we're encouraged to be open to new ideas. As an example, Vitale says, he decided not to pursue a mail order advertisement for a self-improvement product. But he soon decided he was resisting a message, so he ordered the product. (pp. 31-32) So how do we interpret this story? Do we order everything that's advertised? We need a discussion on how to use our intuition to discern the value of what we're offered.   And selling an e-book or e-course on the Internet can be a great way to make money ... if you've got a topic and a great marketing strategy. It also helps if you have a big mailing list and copywriting skills. So how do we get these advantages? Vitale acknowledges -- rightly, I think -- that most of us make excuses when we need to roll up our sleeves and go to work (p. 75), investing time, money and energy in our dream. It takes more than attraction to attract these rewards! Or just go straight to Tom Antion's book on electronic marketing. I agree with Vitale: "Intention" can be powerful." Once we set a firm goal, we often figure out ways to get there, if we genuinely want the goal. For instance, I've met many people who found jobs just as their unemployment payments were about to end. The combination of positive mood and clarity of goal can be very powerful. But you don't have to explain these effects as "law of attraction." Parts of Vitale's book were quite disturbing. Twenty-two pages -- nearly ten percent of the book -- fall into a chapter labeled "The Proof," which is nothing but a list of testimonials for Joe Vitale and the first version of this book. Second, Vitale acknowledges that his guru, Jonathan, molested a woman who was close to him at the time. On page 181, he writes that the "situation with Jonathan...was a gift of freedom." But the woman who was molested (p. 182) never recovered. Although "she tried to forgive him," writes Vitale, she "only found peace in death." And in the very next sentence, Vitale writes, "Meanwhile my adventures continue..." Frankly, I don't get it. Some psychologists believe the human mind may be wired to explain negative events in terms of some greater good. But I would expect to see some evidence of the author's compassion for the woman and perhaps some revised thinking -- maybe even some activism to prevent other women from being harmed by gurus they trusted. I would encourage readers to look up Natalie Goldberg's memoir The Great Failure , where she describes honest feelings about being betrayed by her spiritual father and her birth father. Finally, the notion that we're responsible for everything that happens to us can be traced to early New Age philosophies, including the "est" of the seventies. We're dealing with values that are nearly religious. For instance: Do you believe soldiers in Iraq attracted death and dismemberment? Do you believe the starving poor of Third World countries attracted poverty? Do you believe that three-year-old children attract disease into their lives? Some Law of Attraction theorists say yes; others hedge. Still, I wouldn't discourage anyone from trying Vitale's exercises in a spirit of playfulness. And if it's easier to take a message of "Work hard!" when it's couched in this language, no harm done. If you're interested in this value-based system, I recommend Carolyn Myss's excellent tapes. I'd also recommend Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn. These authors are down to earth and realistic about what you can expect (at least in these books). Best of all, you can follow their advice even if you don't buy into their world views. Cathy Goodwin, PhD, works with midlife career changers who want to transform career breakdowns to career breakthroughs. For one-to-one consultations, Start here. Free weekly ezine.

[Career information] Midlife Crisis - or Midcareer Crisis?

Q. You’ve heard of midlife crisis? Well, I am having a mid-career crisis. I love my job but have fallen into a routine, where I’m feeling bored. I need to add some excitement but don’t want a new career or a geographical move. Any suggestions? A. Today we demand more from our careers than ever before, and many high-achieving clients initiate a call because they’re experiencing a mid-career crisis. You feel as though your career has broken down but in fact you’ve broken through some very real barriers. Stop the TEDS: Television, Eating, Drinking, and Shopping: Nearly everyone experiments with one or more of these diversions. Replace with CAPS: Creative Project, Action, Physical Activity, Surprise. Creative Project: Work through Julia Cameron’s new book, Walking in This World, and rediscover your creative self. Take a novel-writing seminar or a pottery class. You’ll never be the same. Action: Do something different. Some people start small. Choose a new restaurant for lunch. Turn left instead of right. Walk instead of driving. Attend a symphony (if you usually attend sports events) or a baseball game (if you’re a long-time symphony goer). Learn something new. Each year add 1 new skill take at least 1 class just for fun – anything from medieval history to Conversational Urdu. Why does this work? Read The Medici Effect Physical Activity: Guaranteed to move brain cells around and generate new ideas, not to mention energy. Anything from marathon running to weight lifting to dog walking (you knew I’d get that in somewhere, didn’t you?). Surprise: Some clients tell me they benefited from a period of introspection. Some even go on retreats and quests. But most find their answers by accident. You set off in a new direction. You leave your comfort zone. You get really busy. And then one day you wake up and realize, “I’m feeling great now. Boredom? Gone! The edge is back.” Bonus article: Considering a sabbatical? Read this first. Take action on your own Mid-Career Crisis with my best-selling Special Report: Your 21-Day Extreme Career Makeover During a Mid-Career Crisis, our intuition often shuts down and refuses to speak to us. Learn how to teach your intuition to send you a telegram – not a post card. No woo-woo, no crystal balls. Start here. Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. Creator of the 21 Day Career Makeover System Download now and start moving to find your own dream career today. 21-Day Time Management Makeover begins here.