[Great Career Tips] Surviving a Career Midlife Crisis

Q. After several years, I finally left middle school teaching, a career I had come to hate. Now I feel like a failure. My skills mean nothing to the business world. I have considered becoming a librarian, journalist or social worker, but I can’t afford to return to school. And I need a job immediately. A. The skills to change careers are not the same as the skills to manage a career. Many of my clients feel a little uncomfortable when they ask questions about the job hunt. “I should know this, shouldn’t I?” But why should they? And why should you? Maybe the last time you job-hunted, you were in your twenties, right out of college, bright-eyed and eager. You probably had fewer responsibilities. Most certainly your identity wasn’t tied up in a profession. But now you’re over thirty-five. You’ve gained some stature. Calling strangers to ask for advice seems…well, different. You’re peers of those who are sitting across the desk, although you may come from a different field or industry. You’ve got some obligations. Travel four days a week? Move a thousand miles? Your family – especially the children – may have some thoughts on the subject! And if you’re single, you still may want to live near friends and family, not to mention "make sure the dog will be welcome." So congratulations on beginning the career change journey. You can look forward to reaching your destination you'll love -- but expect a few intermediate stops along the way. Your first stop: Career change takes time, energy and financial resources. So get what I call a perch job. Think of birds perching on a wire when they migrate south for the winter: a place to rest till you can start moving to your real destination. Some organizations (such as Starbucks and Patagonia) offer benefits if you work as few as 20 hours a week. Second stop: Once you’ve covered your basic needs, take time to explore each career option in greater depth. The fields you describe are very different from one another. Even within each field you'll find major differences. A social worker can have a private practice, work in a hospital, or work for any one of hundreds of agencies, public and private. Talk to at least six people who are employed (happily or otherwise) in each field. Ask how they started. Don’t ask for advice: ask for experience. Third stop: Learn to speak the local language. These days, when you take a job, you’re joining a tribe, with its own culture. Even if you’ve been in the field ten years, your next company’s culture may differ dramatically. As a newcomer, you’ll have to earn what consultants call “idiosyncrasy credits,” the right to break rules and defy norms without getting penalized, formally or informally. When you try to sell yourself to a new world, you need to talk, walk and look like a native. When you communicate in the language of your target career – whether it’s business, nonprofit, education or legal – you’ll be taken more seriously. People rarely change careers because they dislike the work. They usually reject the culture they’re required to assimilate in order to do their work and use their skills. Finally, if finances are tight, investigate low-cost career change resources in your area. Some nonprofit agencies offer counseling. And if you find yourself getting seriously depressed, your first priority should be a visit to a qualified, licensed mental health provider. Yes, you can find a new, satisfying career – not overnight, but sooner than you anticipate. Good luck with the journey. Article Based on Cathy’s Irreverent Job Search Guide Click here to learn more. Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is a published author, speaker, and career/business consultant to midlife professionals who want to transform career breakdown to career breakthrough. Download a Fr*e Report: Why most career change fails (and how you can write your own success story). Click here!

[Great Career Tips] Leaving your job with tough love

As a career consultant, I mostly hear from clients who have experienced involuntary job loss: layoffs, firing, industry change, company bankruptcy and more. But more often my clients find themselves in the happy position of accepting a new job and saying good-by to a current employer. Surprisingly, many tell me they’re nervous about telling a current boss they’re leaving.

Here's the advice I find myself offering over and over again.

1. Give the exact amount of notice required by your company policy – and no more.

Every so often someone feels sorry for the company, so they stick around an extra week (or even an extra month). Inevitably, they begin to feel like a fifth wheel.

2. Do not accept any job-related calls after you leave unless you have a written consulting contract.

The amount of notice required should have been determined as a business decision: the cost of paying an employee who will be departing versus the benefits of keeping the employee’s knowledge.

If your manager miscalculated, then he needs to bear the cost. If your company needs additional help and you do not experience a conflict with your new job, I suggest you offer to work as a paid consultant with a contract.

3. Study your current and future company policies regarding disclosures and no-compete agreements.

Some companies are extremely proprietary about their process and their people. Once you resign, you may have to leave the workplace immediately. Or your new company may prefer a complete break from your former employer.

4. Resign to your boss in person, if at all possible.

Phone is second best. And tell the boss before you tell anyone else – even your best friend or golfing buddy.

5. Expect your boss to be professional.

Clients often fear the boss’s reaction. However, bosses rarely are caught by surprise. Good bosses are happy to see their employees move ahead. Thank her for the opportunity to learn, which has led to your newest and most wonderful career move.

6. Thank your boss and your coworkers, even if you hate everybody and can’t wait to leave.

You may regard them more fondly through a haze of memories than a glare of office lighting. And you know you’ll need references and goodwill.

7. Decline a counter-offer.

Recruiters consistently tell me, “Sixty percent of those who accept a counter-offer are gone in six months.” If you do decide to stay, get a written job contract.

Exception: A few companies and industries actually demand proof of an outside offer before offering you any kind of internal raise or reward. College professors often work in this environment.

8. Treat the exit interview as a business formality, not a therapy session.

When a Human Resource professional asks why you are leaving, be upbeat and positive: “for a better opportunity.” Talk about how much you loved the company and your job. You never know where your comments will turn up, mangled and misinterpreted.

9. Resist entreaties to share the details of your future position with anyone.

Occasionally someone will try to assess your salary or other information “so we can stay competitive in recruiting.” Helping your company recruit is not part of your job and anyway, do you really believe this?

10. Focus on your new opportunity – not your past company.

Once you’re gone, you’re history. The very same folks who loved meeting you for lunch will barely remember your name a week later.

Finally, if you haven’t changed jobs for awhile you may be in for a shock. Your first day in a new position can be a real eye-opener!

[Great Career Tips] First Day on Your First Job in Ten Years

You spent ten years with one company. Now you've switched to a new organization - and possibly a new career. Your challenge is not only to learn but also to release old patterns that won't serve you well here.

Here are seven tips to help you master this transition.

(1) It's been a long time since you had a "first day on the job." Maybe you're left alone with a stack of manuals to read. Or you're expected to resolve a crisis, while strangers scream at each other, using jargon you don't understand.

Both these scenarios are typical for newcomers. Neither signals a need to jump ship.

(2) Your number one challenge: Be strictly professional. Do not share any concerns or misgivings about the job. Even if your boss appears to be breaking a written promise, tread carefully. The only acceptable answer to, "How's it going?" is, "Wonderful!"

(3) If you are making a dual move - job plus relocation - you're "onstage" with everyone you meet in your new community. Your next-door neighbor may be your boss's cousin.

(4) In today's market, your new employer probably had to go to bat for you before you even arrived on board. You may never learn how you got here. Maybe you displaced a long-time employee or your boss's rival wanted to hire someone else.

Spend your first six months collecting data. Interpret with caution, preferably with the help of an outsider who can offer perspective.

(5) Maintain old contacts and begin at once to expand your network. Thank everyone who has helped you. Let them know that, while you are ecstatically happy, jobs can be unpredictable.

(6) Begin to build your future. Set aside funds for your next adventure. Use your company's resources to build skills, earn a degree and generally make yourself more marketable every day.

(7) Find a mentor who can be trusted not only to keep your story confidential, but also to challenge your beliefs and offer an experience-based perspective. Wet blankets and cheerleaders may not be your best choices: you need objectivity.

Many people find that hiring a coach, consultant or mentor can be a wise investment at this time. If you can avoid even one angry outburst or indiscreet remark, you will save thousands of dollars by keeping your job and maintaining a "promotable" image.

Your first six months will be critical to your success. I urge everyone to keep a journal, so you can look back to see how far you've come. Someday you'll be the old-timer, welcoming the new employee, watching to see what she's made of.

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Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. works with midlife midcareer professionals who want to change, advance or transform their careers. Download Why Most Career Change Fails and How You Can Write Your Own Success Story.
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[Great Career Tips] Employee gifts to managers

Q. I am a manager with eight direct reports. I received a couple of Christmas gifts this last season and don't know how to handle the situation. Should I give them back? What can I say?

A. Begin by digging a little deeper.
Why are these employees sending gifts? Was there a custom from their previous department? Are they your best or your worst employees?

I wouldn't hurt their feelings or make them feel bad. Instead of returning the gift, can you either share with the whole group (as Eric suggested) or donate to a charity? You could say, "I realize I should have clarified our policy on gift-giving." And send out a memo as soon as possible.

When I was a college professor, students (especially those from Asia) often gave me gifts. If the course was over and the student was from another country, I sometimes felt I had to accept. But I tried to educate students: the best gift
to a professor is a nice letter of appreciation with copies to the dean and maybe VP-Academic Affairs.

And a neighbor who's a police officer shared a funny story. In Seattle, cops pay for all their food and coffee. They do not accept freebies. A new officer from the South breezed through the Dunkin Donuts without paying, just waving a thank you. Her supervisor had to call to explain, "We don't do that here. You have to go back and pay."

She wasn't being mean -- she just assumed that was the custom. And your employees may feel the same way.

However, inappropriate gifts can be a warning signal. In one university where I was teaching, a married couple showed up to interview for two positions. As is customary, they were invited to an administrator's home for dinner. Afterward they sent a lovely floral arrangement.

This gesture was highly inappropriate and not at all customary. The couple was hired and went on to become the greatest trouble-makers in the department's history.

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
Author, Career/Business Consultant, Speaker
"Why most career change fails (and how to write your own success story)"
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[Great Career Tips] Plan for January 2007

According to a recent New York Times article, psychologists find that introspection can be counterproductive. Sometimes a “gut reaction” can actually be more accurae than analysis.

“Don’t Think Twice – It’s All Right” by Timothy D. Wilson, first published December 29, 2005.
http://tinyurl.com/bxz5y

According to this article, we shouldn’t think “why,” but “what” and “how.”

And according to other research, writing down goals and dreams can help us get closer to making them happen – or realize we don’t really want them after all.

So let’s start with the “what” and consider the “how” in future issues.

1. Imagine that it’s December 31, 2006. You are writing a letter to a good friend. You write, “I had a great year. I am especially happy with these three accomplishments...” And list them.

2. Imagine it’s March 21, 2006. You are talking to some friends in a social situation. They ask, “How’s your year going?” What would make you say, “It’s been a great year so far.”

3. List one skill you’d like to develop in 2006 – business or personal.

4. List one educational program you’d like to try – a mentorship, university or continuing education program. How can you take a taste before committing: a single class, an interview with current participants, or ...

5. List one activity you’d like to do – just for fun.

Finally: What do you absolutely, positively not want to put off till “someday.” Travel to a specific place? A career change? Finally getting around to writing your book? Starting your own business?

Because this year may be the best “someday” you’ll have.

Happy January to all. Send me your answers and you’ll get a personal reply! I can’t coach you (obviously) but I will acknowledge and perhaps suggest resources.

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Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. works with midlife midcareer professionals who want to change, advance or transform their careers. Download Why Most Career Change Fails and How You Can Write Your Own Success Story.
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When decisions are tough, the tough (sometimes) get going

The toughest decision of all: Get out or get going!

By Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.

Many of us are influenced by the sports ethic: Never give up! When a basketball team is down by 20 with 30 seconds on the clock, the players never stop working. Spectators might be filing out, and the winning team might be deep into the bench, but the game goes on.

If your game is a business or a job,you won't hear a whistle to signal the end of the game. If you keep going and win, you may gain a lifelong prize. If you keep throwing good money and energy into a losing cause, the whistle can blow for unemployment or bankruptcy.

"Should I keep going?" is one of the most difficult questions for anyone, including career counselors and coaches. There is no single answer, but here are some ways to focus the question.

1. How did you get into the situation? Were you encouraged by a spouse, parent, friend or mentor? You have a better chance of fulfilling your own dream than someone else's.

2. Is there a little voice in your head that whispers, "Maybe you should be doing X instead?" Listen up, as the sports coaches say, especially if you can put a name on "X" ,and if you've been playing this game awhile. That "little voice" may be your intuition speaking.

3. Does your new venture refuse to go away? If you try to leave your job, do you find yourself getting caught up in a new project or rewarded with a new promotion?

One speaker, accepting a local "Entrepreneur of the Year" award, told the audience, "I hated this business. I tried to sell it but nobody would buy me out. I was forced to fix it up and, in the process, found success."

4. What is the universe telling you? Are you getting customers? Is your progress considerably faster or slower than your peers and competitors? Has anything clicked into place for you, seemingly without effort? To interpret these messages, tune in to your own intuition.

5. What is your own historical trend? Do you tend to give up too easily or hang on too long? Often career coaching can help you identify career patterns and decide if you want to make changes.

6. Are you still having fun? A loss of enthusiasm can be temporary, especially if you're fatigued or have just experienced a setback. Long-term discouragement will create negative energy and ultimately destroy your career or business.

7. Must your decision be either-or? Can you continue a business part-time with a manager? Can you look for a new job but also start a business? Multi-tasking can fragment energies but also offer unparalleled opportunities. It's a key transition skill.

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career consultant. She works with midlife, midcareer professionals who face challenges relating to career change, career advancement, and moving from the corporate world to independent solo-preneurship.

Why does most career change fail and how can you write your own success story?
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