Take back your life

I've been reading a book called Practically Perfect in Every Way by Jennifer Niesslen. Niesslen spent 2 years testing how much she could change by reading self-help books and following online programs.

You can read more about the book and see my review
here at the amazon website.

What bothered me most were the parts of her life we got to see in between the self-help progress reports. Jennifer works at home as a freelance writer (giving her opportunities to experiment) while her husband Brandon works for an unnamed large pharmaceutical firm.

One day, Brandon's company refuses to close early for an ice storm. Brandon's colleague gets told, "If you leave early, you'll be charged a vacation day." So the colleague stays. Brandon carpools. He rode with the colleague. So he stays too, while Jennifer worries all afternoon.

These situations are tricky. But why didn't the colleague say, "OK, so I lose a vacation day?" Or, "I'll reimburse the company for my time. My life is worth more than a few hundred bucks."

I would not be surprised if the company conveniently forgot to deduct the vacation day to avoid negative PR. I would not even be surprised if someone sent a few anonymous tips to the local newspaper: "Bad company docks pay of workers who leave during ice storm..."

Even if you lose a day's pay, you send a message to the company. According to Niesslein, this company makes the "100 best companies to work for" lists. There's probably some pride at stake.

OK, I'm out of corporate life and always was a maverick. I would have walked. Once I was supposed to start a new job in January, following a long drive through upstate New York. I told the company point blank, "If there's a blizzard, I will be late." No blizzard, but nothing happened. I took this option for granted and I suspect my attitude was contagious.

Since then I've met people who battled blizzards and worse for their companies. I don't know who's right.

"You have to start somewhere..."

Yesterday I ran into someone I hadn't seen for awhile. Call her "Eileen" and I'll change the details.

Since I last saw her, Eileen had developed an interest in speaking. She had just heard a powerful motivational speaker. "This guy was so great," she said. "I want to be like him. So I'm going to get more involved in Toastmasters. Maybe I'll enter some contests."

I must have shown my surprise.

"Well, you have to start somewhere," Eileen shrugged.

I have a lot of respect for Toastmasters. But Eileen already has a lot of speaking experience. Will this venue really help her grow?

Eileen's answer haunted me because I see it as coming from scarcity and fear, not abundance and strength. We don't hear this phrase too often anymore. Now we hear purposeful people say, "My strategy is to move from here to there. Maybe I'll take a detour..."

Then I remembered. When I was in my twenties, an employment agency "counselor" tried to get me interested in a job that was clearly an underpaid dead end.

I was clueless about careers in those days. The Parachute book hadn't been written, career counselors gave preference tests and coaches were seen on the sidelines of basketball court, holding clipboards. And even I could see how bad that job was.

The agency woman shrugged. "Well, you have to start somewhere," she said.

True. We all start somewhere. But these day we are advised to pick a starting point that has a good chance of leading us to our desired destination.

Will Toastmasters help Eileen achieve her goals? I have no idea. But she should.

Three weeks till the job starts

You just won the job - congratulations! You gave notice and quit your old job. Or maybe you have been looking for a long time and you finally landed the Big One. Yaay!!!

But your new job doesn't start for another 3 weeks. What do you do?

First, be sure you have a written offer.

Don't be insulted by this suggestion. Many seasoned professionals assume, "Organizations are honorable. They will keep their word."

Usually that's true. But I personally know 2 professionals -- each with over 10 years experience -- who experienced huge losses when a future employer failed to follow up on a verbal offer.

If you don't have a written offer, you don't have a job yet. Keep looking!

Second, if you are still working at your current job, continue to turn in good work. Two cautions:

Do not offer to return after you've left. If your skills are still needed, your company will pay you -- or someone else -- as a consultant.

And do not disclose the details of your new job, no matter how strongly you're asked. Some employers actually say, "We need to know this for our recruiting."

You are not responsible for their recruiting or for helping them determine market value. Worst case, simply say, "I have a written contract that forbids this disclosure" or just turn and walk away.

Third, if you are not working, recognize you have a mini-sabbatical. Make a plan to use the time effectively. You may be able to anticipate knowledge requirements for the new job, so you can hit the ground running. Or you can plan activities that will be satisfying to you -- extra time for family, sports, reading, movies, and more. See my article on
planning a sabbatical.

And just as you don't offer to help your past employer after you've left, don't offer to help your future employer before you arrive. If they have pre-employment requests, they'll come forward.

From beginning to end of your job, communicate non-verbally, "I work for you when I am on the payroll." You'd never say those words aloud, but you need to send a signal.

What are your experiences? Add comments.

Can You Keep Friends In Your Career Game?

As an ardent fan of WNBA basketball, I already reserved seats for the playoffs. Our team, the Seattle Storm, faces off against the Phoenix Mercury on Friday.

Seattle's popular point guard, Sue Bird, is good friends with Phoenix's phenom, Diana Taurasi. Off the court, they were college teammates, roommates, and very close friends. Now they face each other in a heated competition.

Players of team sports, especially at elite levels, get used to mixing friendship with competition. Speaking in interviews, they admit they have trouble guarding an old friend...but they also anticipate her moves and do a better job.

I don't think we have any pro sports players on this list. But in a business context, you often find yourself playing with friends.

Or you're looking for a resource -- tax preparer, web designer, consultant -- and you're tempted to hire a friend ... or a friend's friend. But you want to win the career game. So...

(1) Set up written criteria for choosing employees, resources and partners.

You'll need this list when you're facing a new challenge, such as moving to a new city or starting a business. Everybody has a friend who's a real estate agent, accountant, lawn service and even moving company. They're great people but not necessarily a good fit professionally.

(2) Maintain your game face.

When you're with a company, a client or a networking group, you're "on." Anything you say may come back to haunt you. (Family business? Started a business with an old friend? That's another article!) Find a confidante who has no ties to your source of income. Sure, you may run up your phone bill or pay for a professional listener. But you'll protect your most important economic investment: your professional self.

(3) When a friend seems like the best choice, plan for the worst case scenario.

He didn't do a good job. Maybe she was just the wrong person for the role. How will you break up the relationship? Can you handle the emotional side as well as the financial and professional?"

Some people have a firm policy: "No mixing business and personal life." Others think of the workplace as a second family. Still others find they create deep bonds with a colleague who shared a personal experience, such as illness or caring for aging parents.

There are no right answers.

A few years ago, Lisa Lesie of the Los Angeles Sparks and Dawn Staley, then of the Charlotte Hornets, faced each other in the finals for the national championship. They were close friends who phoned every week. But, "No friends in a championship," Staley told a reporter bluntly. "No phone call this week."

As I recall, Los Angeles won the championship.

Now Lisa has taken a season off to enjoy her new husband and baby, while Dawn has become head coach at Temple University in Philadelphia.

And every so often we have to stop and remember: Which team are we on? And are we playing to win?

Reading the signals

I don't know about you, but my computer sometimes sends off misleading messages. "File not found" may mean "need to restart and free up more memory."

And companies also send off misleading signals. After awhile, I don't even notice the messages I'm getting...I automatically make the correction without reading the warning.

Companies do this too. I've found that savvy careerists don't even pay attention to the official messages. Today's Wall Street Journal pointed out one example: "HR is here to help you" really means, "HR is here to minimize the company's liability."

Another: "We welcome creativity. We love out of the box thinkers."

Or my favorite: "We really enjoy having you around. You're so different from everybody else."

First Day on a New Job (After 40)

Ah...first day of a new job! I'm enjoying the moment vicariously as two of my neighbors start new jobs. One started a job yesterday, a big promotion and raise that reflects her education and experience.

Another starts right after Labor Day, a new field following her return to school for a graduate degree.

I have to admit: I may never have another "first day" experience ever again. Between my comfort level with working at home and overt age preferences, I may never hear the words, "This is your new office" ever again.

(Does age discrimination exist? Does water flow downhill?)

Sometimes I feel sad because I enjoyed job hunting and the first day adventure. Back then I was considered "unstable" or worse because I changed jobs every 2 years or so. Now everybody changes jobs about as often as they change their hairstyle. My neighbor changed jobs after less than 2 years and the issue of longevity never arose.

So I'll wish them "Bon voyage!" and here's an article I wrote a few years ago about changing jobs (and maybe careers) after 40:
First Day on New Job

How to Climb vs How to Behave at the Summit

Good leaders are supposed to be compassionate, modest and always cordial. But, says Stanford University Professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, these qualities won't help you reach the top.

In a fascinating essay, published in his new book
What Were They Thinking, Pfeffer describes the skyrocket career of one Keith Ferazzi. Ferazzi didn't just do the work and wait to be recognized. He was a standout even as a junior consultant, where he immediately began developing client relationships.

Perhaps his most mind-bogging move came very early in his career. As a recent MBA, juggling offers from McKinsey and DeLoitte, Ferrazi told DeLoitte he wanted one unique perk: dinner with the president three times a year. They said yes.

Pfeffer's point is, "Don't be afraid of standing out and recognize the trade-offs." Everyone talks about being a good team player, but actually you're competing with your teammates to get promotions, raises and visibility.

Pfeffer ends the chapter with a great quote from Steve Spurrier, the football coach who left U of Florida to coach in the NFL: "Call me arrogant, cocky, crybaby, whiner or whatever names you like...At least they're not calling us losers anymore. If people like you too much, it's probably because they're beating you."

Successful job search means demonstrating success

"On paper, my experience doesn't look great. As a project manager, I organize vendors and keep costs down. But in fact everybody wants me to run their projects! Even customers ask for me. Now I'm ready to embark on a job search. How can I communicate my value to a future employer?"

Three ways:

(1) Get it in writing.

When someone gives you a compliment, ask for a testimonial.

If you're self-employed, other entrepreneurs will understand what you need and why. In a corporate setting, you may need to explain a little more.

Ask for letters on letterhead, acknowledging specific achievements. It's not enough to say "Greg works hard and he's nice."

(2) Show the numbers.

"We came in 40 percent below budget on the Sherman project."

Don't lie or fudge. If you're *that* good, you'll have real numbers.

(3) Create a context for comparison.

"I was the only sales rep (out of 40 in the department) to achieve dollar goals for three years in a row."

Encourage your references to make comparisons, too: "We work with over 100 vendors a year. Linda is the only rep who takes the time to learn our unique needs..."

But...

Are you working on projects where your success cannot be documented? If you're doing more than the minimum to stay employed (and that's a judgment call), stop.

Don't quit and don't do anything to jeopardize your current position. Instead, focus on how you can become more marketable, so you can get recognized (and rewarded!) for your work in and out of the organization.

Job search calls for a killer cover letter

Typically your cover letter should respond to an ad or job description point by point.

For example, the want ad says:
15 years of experience in marketing management
Demonstrated success in dealing with advertising agencies
Team player

You go down this list, point by point. Paragraph 1 refers to your 15 years in marketing management. Paragraphs 2 begins, "Success in dealing with advertising agencies" followed by bullet points of 2 or 3 success stories

Paragraph 3 says "As an experienced team player, I..."

But what if you are applying for a job that hasn't been created yet? Maybe you networked successfully and realized you have a rare opportunity

In that case, write your own want ad! Identify what the hiring managers want and set up your letter.

Depending on the situation, you could even say, "If you were writing an ad for this job, here's what it would look like."

But that's a judgment call -- could backfire as: "Wouldn't look like that at all - guess we don't need this person after all."

More in my Irreverent Job Search Guide.

Where's the Real Me?

When you've had a series of jobs in different fields (or using different skill sets), forget trying to find the one that's the Real You.

(1) Create a good story (or "spin" as journalists say.

Practice a cover story till that you can repeat in 5 minutes or less.

(2) Think of your career as an artful mosaic, not a patchwork quilt.

Recognize the underlying pattern. Sometimes an outsider (yes, a paid coach or consultant) will help you see underlying trends.

(3) Never apologize.

Hang out only with folks who see your variety as strength, not weakness.

New Move, Need Job: Talking Back to the WSJ

On Tuesday, July 31st, the Wall Street Journal ran an article:
Advice on Landing a Job After Moving to a New Area (p. B6):

The Question: "John" (or "Jane") recently moved from a high-cost to a low-cost area. He (or she) gets interviews but no offers. Interviewers say the newcomer lacks confidence and probably wouldn't be happy with a lower salary.

To answer this question, WSJ columnist Perri Capell interviewed some career consultants. They emphasized the usual strategies. Show you're eager to work for the company. Say you recognize salaries are lower here. Build networking contact.

But few consultants combine relocation and career expertise. When you combine a career and a move, you need to consider other factors. Moving to a small town raises all sorts of questions, even without the low-cost considerations.

(1) What is a low-cost area?

In my experience, you always have trade-offs. When I lived in Silver City, New Mexico, you could find lower-priced houses and rental units. But other costs were high. Residents had to travel to Albuquerque, Las Cruces, El Paso or Tucson for certain kinds of medical care. Traveling almost always required an extra night or two away from home.

And besides housing, costs were not especially low. We had no craigslist and no competitive services to drive down price.

After I moved to the big expensive city of Seattle, my health insurance and phone bill actually dropped, because I had more plans to choose from. Food costs were lower. Computer repair meant calling a local geek from craigslist - not sending the computer off and paying a big minimum charge. I no longer spent $200-$400 a month for a long weekend in a nearby big city. Many entertainment options were free or low costs. And, of course, I have more opportunities to earn serious money.

Often low-cost simply means you have fewer options and choices to spend the money you have. So you spend less.

(2) Why does your new area have a lower cost of living?

In the rust belt states, such as Michigan, the cost of living will be low because the region's industries have slowed down. Therefore, few companies will be around, let alone hiring. In small towns, a lower cost of living means you don't have big companies -- just mom and pop shops and a few big box retailers. Either way, you can expect more competition for fewer openings.

(3) Who are the region's main employers?

It's unlikely you'll find the same type of employers and even less likely you'll find the same employment culture. Your local employers have the attitude of "We will take whoever we can get," not, "We want the best." So you are competing against workers who may be less qualified but who will be genuinely happier with fewer benefits and lower salaries.

(4) Does your new region have a hidden agenda?

In a small town (or even a medium-sized city), employers often hire friends of friends. You may need years to crack the code, no matter how much networking you do. You may be mistrusted because you are single, married, childless, old, young, educated, foreign, male, female, appearing to be gay...who knows?

You may be getting lots of interviews because you're a good candidate -- or because everybody wants to meet the new kid on the block. So you may be getting called for interviews where you don't stand much chance of being hired anyway.

(3) Does your new region tend to have high turnover among newcomers?

Some employers have been burned. They see too many gung-ho newcomers get discouraged and leave because of the weather, the lack of access to a mall, the slower pace, or some other factor that made the region low-cost.

(4) What kind of pay cut are you taking?

Again, recognize that employers speak from experience. They've seen newcomers eager to work for lower salaries -- at first. They know the cost of living can be deceptive: you'll find yourself paying for travel and amenities from your former life. So they expect you to come, put in some time, and then walk.

(5) Do you fit the local culture?

According to linguist and best-selling author Deborah Tannen, speech patterns can be mis-interpreted as personality traits. New Yorkers (like me!) interrupt each other when speaking. To a southerner or midwesterner, we're rude. A southerner who waits to speak at a New York meeting might be viewed as shy.

So if you keep hearing, "You need confidence" (or "You come on too strong") you are probably a cultural misfit, especially if you've never experienced this feedback before.

I once knew a graduate student who grew up in the deep south. She spoke with a soft, honeyed accent and she looked like the stereotype southern belle. She even put "Magnolia Society" on her resume. Employers feared she wouldn't be tough enough so she had trouble on the job market.

Actually, this woman was tough as nails and, when she landed a good job, became a strong competitor who left her more aggressive colleagues in the dust.

Bottom Line: We can't answer this question until we know more about the specific situation and about you, too. Generic career advice can send you on expensive, time-consuming detours.

In general, I encourage my own clients to (a) consider starting their own businesses and (b) be prepared to work at a minimum wage, entry level job: barista in a coffee shop, retail store clerk, pet sitter...even house cleaner. And of course I encourage them to scout the scene beforehiring a moving company.

Check out my resources: I have a
book on moving
and a mini-book on
moving to a small town.

Free article Starting Over in New Mexico.

And of course I am happy to coach and consult if your challenge includes careers, relocation or both.
Learn more here.

New career development etiquette...or new road to disaster?

Penelope Trunk, best-selling author of The Brazen Careerist, offers 10 tips for the "new etiquette." You can read them here

She drew a great deal of controversy - over 900 comments, mostly negative.

Some of these tips, with my comments:

"Forget the exit interview."

She points out that an exit interview won't help you but probably creates ill will. I would add, "In some companies, HR will insist on an exit interview. Just go through the motions. Tell them you loved everything about your job but you just couldn't turn down X Company's wonderful offer."

If a lot of people start leaving and the company has trouble replacing them, then they may pay attention. But that's their problem, not yours.

She wrote, "If you have ideas for how to improve the company, offer to consult." I would add, "If they ask for extra help through the transition, charge market rates for consulting."

And she is absolutely right when she says, "Your old boss is now part of your new network." Build relationships.

"Don't ask for time off, just take it."

More controversial. Most people can't take off more than a few hours without getting authorization. But telling rather than asking can be seen as more "grown-up" in some environments.

Incidentally, Trunk adds that this move will offend "older" people. Older than what? I think you have to study your own culture, not guess your boss's reaction based on his or her age.

"Invite your CEO to be a friend on Facebook.

I would say, "Depends on your CEO."

"Do reconnaissance on your probable boss."

Nothing new here. Career consultants (and counselor and coaches) have been saying the same thing for at least 20 years. I agree completely.

"Don't try to improve a coworker."

Again, nothing new. I would add, "Don't try to improve anybody."

I make this point in several places. In fact, I would ignore all unsolicited advice, especially when someone says, "My intuition for you is..."
See my intuition book.

But as she adds, if your company has a tendency to keep and promote lots of jerks, time to move.


"Call people on the weekend for work."

Come on: it's a judgment call! If you're both working to finish a project, sure.

Most self-employed people work on weekends, but for many of us there's an unwritten rule. Don't bother people and don't feel bad if they don't return your email on weekends.

I would say, "Check your office culture. If you don't feel comfortable, leave."

"Be nice like your job depends on it."

Curious advice. She writes:

"The old days of office politics as a means of backstabbing are dead -- young people are bringing their team-player, I'm-competing-against-my-best-self mentality from their self-esteem-centric homes into the workplace, and there's nothing you can do except be nice back."

I say, "Be nice back but also watch your back. The nastiest back-stabbers know how to act like nice team players."

OK, what do you think? Post a comment. Click on the "0 comments" link. I am forced to moderate all comments due to the huge amount of spam comments we all get, but never fear: I want to hear from you!

Need a new midlife career? Think "Open Road"

Ezine subscriber Ellen Zucker (www.facesandfortunes.com) sent me this story about fifty-something career changers who left their cubicles for the open road:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19875409/site/newsweek/

"Becoming a truck driver? You must be kidding." I can just see my readers shaking their heads in disbelief.

Well, maybe not. A few years ago I interviewed a truck driver who left his fifth grade science classroom to drive big rigs. He loved it.

"Forget the stereotype," he said. "You'll find doctors, lawyers, college professors...all kinds of people. At a truck stop, I'm not the only one in a booth reading a book."

These days, he told me, trucks come with automatic transmission and they're not as hard to drive as they used to be. Truckers communicate by CB, but more likely they have cab phones, fax machines and computers, too.

"Who changes those big wheels?" I asked, shuddering. Mechanical I'm not.

"Oh, if you're truck breaks down, you just call in your location and they send a repair truck. Faster than the auto club!"

You can drive alone or with your partner. You can bring along your dogs and cats.

He recommended going with the big companies, like Schneider, not the smaller outfits. Talk to the recruiters and learn which driving schools they recommend. Hang out at truck stops and chat with the drivers.

Of course, you do have to be able to drive in all kinds of weather. You have to be a confident driver who charges up hills and flies down mountain roads.

Frankly, if I were a better driver, I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be out there myself. Next lifetime.

Also see: http://gettrucking.com/

Moving Without A Job?

Q. For lifestyle reasons, I am moving 500 miles to a new town. How do I check out job options before moving?

A. You're wise to consider options before you pack. Too often I hear from clients *after* they've already moved.

(1)Identify a range of possible employers in your new city.

(2)Check each company's website for "positions available." Also go online and check local want ads.

(3) Find a position that appears to be at a level comparable to yours. Call HR and say, "I am considering an application for this position. Are you recruiting nationally or locally?"

If she says, "Locally," she'll usually follow up with a comment like, "We do not pay relocation." Go to Step 5.

If he says, "Nationally and we pay expenses," just say, "Thank you." Send a strong resume and cover letter. And keep reading.

(4) If your job is too senior or too specialized to be posted, you have to be more careful. Many companies recruit senior executives on a national or even international level. Some recruit all employees nationally and pay relocation expenses.

If your job level and your company fit this pattern, do not show up at the door and do not offer to pay your own moving expenses.

A long time ago, a wise mentor said, 'If they get you cheap, they treat you cheap."

(5)If you hold a written job offer - Congratulations!

If not, bring funds to cover expenses for up to 6 months - preferably 1 or 2 years.

When I lived in a small town in New Mexico, newcomers with graduate degrees were working as coffee shop baristas, store clerks, and house cleaners. Some (but not all) welcomed the transition to a new lifestyle.

(6) If companies hire for good jobs, but don't pay relocation:

(a)Definitely plan an advance visit and write to potential employers.

Be confident: "My family will be moving to Green City in September. I would like to meet you when I visit Green City in August, in order to discuss whether opportunities might exist for our mutual benefit. I will call you on July 20 to make an appointment."

(b)Definitely look for a temporary job. In fact, you might prefer a short-term position at first, so you can scout the city on a leisurely basis.

(7) Most important: Do not assume you will find a job because (a) you're moving to a big city, (b) the economy is booming and (c) you're amazingly talented. Do the research.

But if you do find yourself stranded, get help. Some clients hire me *before* moving so they maintain continuity. Others choose to work with a local consultant after they've arrived.

The Good News: Nearly every newcomer finds new adventures, surprises and sometimes a whole new life.

Just because it's in print...

I must admit: I get totally frustrated with misleading career advice in newspapers and magazines. Journalists are supposed to provide simple, upbeat reports. Career change can be complex. You usually get a positive outcome but you have to invest a lot of time and energy -- and sometimes money.

Recently someone sent me a link to a Readers Digest article:
http://www.rd.com/content/best-quick-cash/

The article describes several opportunities to earn money fast, using skills you already have. These opportunities include become a VA, selling on ebay, entertaining at parties, and mystery shopping.

All of these opportunities are real. But each requires a major commitment to marketing, unless you already have a network in place. One woman who enjoyed juggling was able to parlay her skill into a $100-an-hour party entertainment service - but to get beyond on occasional gig, she'll need a targeted plan.

Mystery shopping sounds easy and appealing. One Seattle woman, said the article, earns up to $200 a month plus goods and services. Well, this Seattle woman visited the website where, the article promised, we could 'sign up.' In fact, after going through several pages and clicks, you can search openings by region. Search -- not sign up! Quite a difference. And after trying a few categories, I got "nothing here."

No free lunch. And skip the articles. Go directly to your own research. And don't trust anyone who promises a road to easy riches.

Toddler kicked off plane...nobody's right

By now you've probably heard of the talkative todder: a 19-month old child gets ordered off a plane because he wouldn't stop saying, "Bye bye plane." Apparently he was looking at a plane through the window, awaiting takeoff. Most passengers were sympathetic (although one suggested the child's words were drowning out the flight attendant announcements).

Not being a parent, I can't comment on the mother's inability (or unwillingness) to quiet her child. I would expect she could get the child to hush. But after 11 hours in an airport, with no sleep, I suspect most people's parenting skills would be compromised.

While it's clear the flight attendant overreacted, I have to admit I sometimes empathize with her. In my years as a college professor, I began by genuinely enjoying my students. Most of the time they were wonderful.

But after years of listening to excuses and whining, I had a hard time being sympathetic. In one week, three students came up to say their grandmothers had died, so they needed more time on assignments. Another time a student told me she had just discovered her husband was gay. One at a time, each complaint holds a human interest story, deserving of feeling. Taken together, they begin to seem comical. I had to remind myself to act appropriately.

So I can see where this flight attendant had one too many. If I had been on the receiving end of her anger, I would want her fired (and she probably will be). But airlines, like so many employers, put their people under increasing stress. The crew has to enforce rules that seem nonsensical, even to them, just as I did in a university.

Everybody's schedule gets disrupted. The weather seems hot. It's hard to do everything right all the time.

In an ideal world, the airline would compensate the family. They would give the flight attendant some time off with pay and access to stress management training.

But in the real world, I would cite this story as an example of finger-pointing. As a society (and perhaps as humans) we tend to blame individuals, not situations. We underestimate the impact of environment on behavior, as Philip Zimbardo documented brilliantly in the Stanford Prison experiment.

Both the flight attendant and the mother could have behaved better...in different circumstances.

Weather and Careers

When I was writing my relocation book, I interviewed a psychologist to get the official mental health professional perspective. To my surprise, she talked about challenges newcomers face with (of all things) weather.

I've always had a hard time with bitter cold. Two years in Alaska and 5 years in Manitoba -- and I still won't drive in snow.

But this week I realized the power of the weather in a different way. Seattle enjoyed a mini heat wave...just a few days but I lost a couple nights sleep. That put everything back...and then I was stumbling around doing dumb things...and had to spend *more* time undoing them.

Yesterday I was waiting to cross a street when a well-dressed man asked, "Is the weather always like this?"

I felt like saying, "Go see Sleepless in Seattle. The state symbol is the raindrop."

But instead I mumbled something about how rare this weather was. That's why, I explained, so few places are air conditioned. My apartment building is one of the nicer ones in Lower Queen Anne. So we have washers and dryers but no a/c. For 362 days a year--no problem.

"I'm from Palm Springs," he said, shaking his head. California people still think they're superior to the rest of the West Coast.

Beware of Moving Scams

Ouch! the better Business Bureau gets over 10,000 complaints about moving companies.

Check out
http://www.movingscam.com

Don't give your movers a deposit by cash or credit card.
Your mover should have trucks with the name of the moving company in large letters on the side.
I recommend going directly to the big boys: Allied, United or Mayflower. You won't pay more, believe it or not. Often you'll pay a lot less. You'll get an 800 number to call if something goes wrong.

Sure, you can still have problems. But you'll most likely avoid the Move from Hell.

My book deals with the psychological aspects of moving - stress, hassle and more.
Check it out here.

Ouch: My boss is half my age...

ABC's Good Morning America ran a segment on the trials and tribulations of working for a younger boss. The segment featured a 54-year-old woman who just couldn't adapt to working for a 29-year-old boss.

"These days it's not about time served - it's about technological skills," was the message.

Author and Career Specialist Tory Johnson suggested "open communication." Identify your beliefs. Gen Y - workers born 1977-1991 - constitute the largest segment of the work force. These folks, says Johnson, believe authority comes from expertise and accomplishment - not time served.

"Older workers," Johnson says, believe in the value of "time." But younger workers argue, "If I am a stronger performer, I can leapfrog."

Frankly, I think the issue is more complex. There *is* something to be said for perspective. The challenge comes not just from "resentment," as the program suggested, but from a sense of feeling devalued. After investing so many years, we're hearing, "Who cares what you did?"

It's the corporate version of "So what have you done for me lately?"
which can be heard as, "Your life is meaningless."

And who wants to hear that message?

Leave a sinking ship (or enjoy more cheese?)

Q. I joined Blue Company three months ago. Since then my department has experienced a 40% turnover. I can see why. It's disorganized and outdated. Our boss expects us to put in long hours to do meaningless work. Time to leave?

A. Maybe.

Here the key question seems to be: Are these departing employees reacting to a situation that (a) has happened recently, (b) is unlikely to change and (c) will affect you personally?

If circumstances changed a few months before you were hired (e.g., a merger or new CEO), you may be part of a new wave. You actually will benefit from these events.

Or maybe these departures have nothing to do with the company. Suddenly your field has opened up and recruiters have raided your group. If that's the case, you may be in a position to raise questions about your compensation - always a judgment call.

Or you may be seeing the beginning of the end.

For example: I once worked for an organization with a truly incompetent department head. Unfortunately for him, employees in his department were highly marketable. One by one, they took off. They were hard to replace.

We thought the situation would go on forever.

But following the departure of 2 particularly valuable employees, management asked the department head to accept a lateral transfer. They promoted a well-respected employee to be the new manager until an outside search could be completed.

Bottom Line: We've all heard the saying about rats deserting a sinking shop. But is the ship really sinking? Has a new path to dry land just opened up? And can you find a safe corner that's well-stocked with cheese -- and nobody else is around to demand a share?

To fine-tune your intuition, I recommend my very own
Intuition Ebook.

and clients tell me they like my
Job Search Guide.