Choosing a career coach or consultant

Q. I need a new career! My friend recommended a coach but how do I know whether she’s a good choice for me? Or maybe I need a counselor instead? A. Whew…great question! This one came from an acquaintance who wanted to work with me, but we had a conflict of interest. Here’s what I said. Before going further, clear the decks. Career change takes time and energy – rarely possible if you’re working 70-hour weeks or experiencing depression, anxiety, grief, recovery or similar stressors. Second, ignore labels. These days, the person most likely to help may hold a most unlikely title. Instead, ask these 5 questions. (1) What’s your advice-to-accountability ratio? John: “My clients know what to do. My role is to create a structure of permission and accountability.” Jeanne: “My clients get stuck because they don’t know what steps to take. As I give them information, they spring into action.” John is 100% accountability. Jeanne is 100% advice. Most resources will be somewhere in between. Decide what you need and choose accordingly. (2) Who’s your best client and who would not be a good client for you? Ideally you’ll fit the best client profile. More important, your consultant should answer this question readily with something like, “Highly motivated clients with at least 10 years experience in a business or profession.” And you should get a straightforward statement beginning, “I do not work with clients who…” Nobody likes whiners, blamers and complainers...but what else? (3) What factors will influence my success? Even with the best guidance, your success will be influenced by factors beyond everyone’s control. Experienced resources will say something like, “No guarantees. But you’ll move faster if you arrive at the crossroads with certain attitudes, experiences and skills….” And then you should get some specifics. Willingness to network and a set of connections will help a great deal. (4) Will you require tests and assessments? If so, how will you use the results to help me make a change? Some clients feel better if they can place themselves into a category, such as “introvert” or “enneagram 5.” But I’ve met dozens of career changers who felt they had wasted hundreds of dollars to discover “what I’m best suited to do.” Click here for my highly biased opinion. Identifying who you are and defining your ideal career – that’s the fun, easy part. Getting into action and actually making a change? Much more challenging. (5) How do you keep learning and growing yourself? The best resource people will attend conferences, take classes, hire mentors, read books and generally push themselves to stretch and grow, in their area of expertise. They’ll give talks, write articles and get interviewed. They’ve made changes to their services in the past 6 months...or even more recently. That’s why referrals offer limited help. Robin loves Coach X and “Jay” hates X. But you’re different from both. And X’s fees and approach will change by the time you make the call. Ultimately, most personal change researchers agree, success depends more on your own commitment to the process. Perhaps the best predictor of success is a firm belief that, “I’m going to move ahead, with or without a consultant.” Ironically, this attitude is most likely to assure you’ll get the best possible support for your own career change.

Bringing Work Home

Today's Wall Street Journal carried an article that gives new meaning to the notion of "taking work home." Seems cubicle-dwellers introduce workplace jargon into domestic life. You don't like the electric bill? "Push back." That means, "Argue." Need help? "Reach out." That means, "Talk." One spouse accused her husband of interrogating their ten-year-old, using the litigator mode that made their comfortable life possible. The topic involved an illicit delivery of chocolate milk outside the kitchen. I'm not so sure this trend is all bad. Reframing often brings new perspective. As for the lawyer, a systematic, businesslike interrogation might be kinder than what a lot of parents would do. Maybe I could introduce career coaching methods to my own little family. "Gracie, have you considered options for stress besides chewing my socks? I can suggest a few..." Bad idea.

Effortless change

Right around Labor Day I began attending classes at my local gym. We have some really good ones. "Maximum Sculpt" means weight lifting to music. "Nia" is a new form of dance-type exercise. Just recently I began noticing the effects. First I found myself thinking, "Class was easier than usual today." "And today too." "Oh...maybe it's not the class. Maybe it's me." And outside the gym, the effects were even more amazing. Walking up a steep hill (say, Spring from 3rd to 4th Avenues in Seattle) used to leave me breathless with aching ankles. So I gritted my teeth and...it wasn't so bad. Carrying 2 big boxes of kitty litter from the Safeway across the way...tough but do-able. That's what's nice about exercise. You just keep doing it and you see results as if by magic. I'm not sure career change or business growth works the same way. Sure action yields results -- if it's purposeful. When you exercise, purpose translates to form. With careers, too many of us get caught up in "do something...anything!" Much harder to distinguish purposeful action that delivers from what the late Lynn Grabhorn called "heigh-ho silvering."

Career advice: Law of attraction?

With all the buzz about Law of Attraction, it's easy to forget that we attract naturally when we behave a certain way. For example: My young neighbor was grinning from ear to ear. After a few months of solitude, he now found himself overwhelmed with offers to go out. He's dating a couple of great women and a beautiful woman just asked *him* out. What happened? Those who feel loved and cherished will attract friends and relationships. It's not unusual to hear, "I couldn't find a date (let alone a relationship) for ages. Now that I've connected I'm getting asked out all the time and of course I have to say no." I believe the principle works the same way with careers, jobs and just about everything. When you feel strong and secure in your career, you're most likely to ace the interview or get a call from a headhunter. Clients always seem to come from nowhere just when I'm in the middle of two or three big-ticket rush projects. Law of attraction? Maybe. But I studied philosophy many years ago and we learned about Occam's Razor. Look for the simplest, most parsimonious explanation. When you radiate confidence and happiness, all sorts of good things happen. Who cares if there's a unversal law at work? Click here for my irreverent job hunting guide.

Career strategy: Change of boss means change of job?

Last week I was chatting with a colleague about the topic of changing bosses. During my own career, I've had the experience of getting hired by "Jane" only to arrive and find "Julie" in charge. I wasn't alone. In her wonderful (but sadly out of print) book, Thursdays Till 9, advertising superstar Jane Trahey described her first copywriting job at Neiman-Marcus in Dallas. She too arrived to find a new boss in place and, as she writes, "I was all hers." Fortunately, the boss left after a year or so and Trahey soon took her first steps to running the show. So...what if your boss changes soon after you arrive? I say it depends on your personality and your fit within the organization. (1) Some people come equipped with easygoing personalities. Most people like them and they know it. Godzilla could be their next boss and they'd do just fine. (2) Managers try to hire employees who will fit in to their organization. But let's say "Jim" feels a spark when he talks to applicant "Harry." They're from the same city, fraternity or college. They both follow the Lakers. Or they just click. On some level, Jim realizes Harry's a misfit but hey, he's willing to take a risk. Maybe he knows he won't be around long and wants to leave the company a farewell gift -- someone who definitely can't be his successor. And six months or a year later Harry's working for George. George soon realizes Harry's a misfit and (consciously or unconsciously) decides Harry needs to go. George needs to look good in this job and can't afford any loose cannons, which misfits often turn out to be. So bottom line, it's a combination of personality and fitting in. If you're an edgy personality and/or a maverick, you have to be more cautious and stay more marketable than your more easy-going, easy-fit counterpart. Click here for my irreverent job hunting guide.

Career Strategy: Getting Interviewed to Get Ahead

Recently I volunteered to organize an ezine for one of my Seattle alumni groups. It’s not going to be a big deal (I don’t have time). But I’m the only group member who’s edited newsletters and I know how powerfully they can build loyalty and motivate membership. Immediately I ran into the biggest challenge of editing a newsletter. It’s not coming up with ideas. Not meeting deadlines. Not writing up the stories. Not even layout and design. No, the biggest challenge is getting ordinary members to say “yes” to an interview. When I edited a newsletter for my gym in New Mexico, I featured a “Member of the Month.” When I edited a 700-member professional newsletter, I created a monthly interview column. Now, because everyone’s into networking, I’d like to have a “Spotlight.” You’d be amazed how often I hear (from both men and women, so don’t go saying it’s a girl thing), “I’m not interesting enough.” Or, “I don’t have anything to say.” Or even, “I’m shy.” “No problem,” I say. “It’s my job to make you sound interesting. And I’m not Barbara Walters (or even Katie Couric). I ask easy questions. You can even suggest the topics.” But why not step into the spotlight? We’re playing a low-stakes game. Practice talking about yourself. You’ll be ready when your next employer demands an interview for the company newsletter. You’ll understand what you need to learn before a Real Reporter shows up. Occasionally your employer will demand that you get clearance for an interview – even a newsletter at the gym or alumni club. I’d go ahead and ask. Unauthorized media contacts can be hazardous to your career. But your employer may be delighted if you’re being interviewed by anybody, even a neighborhood newspaper. If your manager says, “No way,” ask if you can be interviewed without mentioning specifics. Unless you work for the CIA or Tony Soprano’s Family, or you’re posing for high-exposure photos, most employers won’t mind if you say, “I work for...” Then offer an interview-lite. Talk about your life accomplishments: education, community, military or Peace Corps service, travel, family and dogs. One never knows. Sometimes an old high school buddy will see your interview and call to get re-acquainted. Or someone will give access to a networking opportunity. If you work for yourself, you have no excuse to say no, unless you’re selling the benefits of being invisible. The whole world needs to know how wonderful you are. And I recommend that, starting today, you make a solemn vow to yourself. You will never, ever say, “My life is so boring – why would you talk to me?” You will never, ever make excuses (“You probably don’t want to hear this but...”) Writers are busy, whether they’re columnists for the New York Times or freelance newsletter editors. When they ask for an interview, they want to believe you’re brilliant, successful, interesting and well-spoken. Don’t tell them they’re wrong.. More tips in our teleclass: Click here for more info.

"Overcome discrimination?" You must be kidding...

A NY Times columnist -- someone I usually admire -- responded to a query about a 63-year-old man, recently laid off from his high-level job. The man's wife wrote something to the effect of, "He's sending out resumes and collecting rejections." The columnist urged the man to "overcome age discrimination" by demonstrating that he's active and up-to-date. I say, "Good luck." By definition, discrimination can't be overcome. It's not rational. It's not based on facts. And, quite bluntly, corporate executives have no reason to hire older workers. Often they make what appears to be a rational decision: Forty years of experience may simply not be worth tens of thousands of dollars above the entry-level or even mid-level. For anyone over 50, the only way to stay employed is to use your network, if you have one. Building a new network is do-able but takes time, energy and (if you're female) a heavy investment in make-up, salons and wardrobe consultants. Another way is to consider self-employment. I suspect many business license applications are made by what I call reluctant entrepreneurs -- those who would rather continue working for someone else, if they could find a job where they'd gain responsibility, challenge and (most of all) reward for recognition. Even the author of The Age Advantage had trouble finding true advantages to aging. Click here to see my review. But...overcome prejudice? Despite laws on the books, we still see instances of discrimination based on race, religion, sex and even weight. Age will always be a tougher challenge. I'd say turn your back on jobs and take charge of your own life. It's tough but not impossible.

Career Change: A Family Affair?

Q: “I’m really eager to move from my midwestern town to a major city on the East Coast. The problem is my elderly mother. She doesn’t want to move. I want to spend time with her but I really need to move or resign myself to fewer options later.” A. This one’s tough. As noted in last week’s ezine, I don’t feel qualified to advise on family dilemmas. I can advise and consult on how a move will likely affect a career and how to manage the career-plus-location challenge. And I can encourage clients to consider career outcomes they may not have anticipated. Here are five questions to consider as a starting point. (a) Does your choice feel like moving forward or like making a sacrifice? “Norman,” a successful clinical psychologist, enjoyed his life in a small Southeastern town. With his wife retired and the children off to college, he broached the idea of moving to a larger northeastern city while he was still young enough to enjoy professional recognition and growth. His wife refused. “I’m staying here with my friends and my lifestyle.” Norman insists he’s doing well. But in nearly every conversation with friends, he refers to what he has sacrificed to save his relationship. His current career and his social relationships have begun to fray around the edges. “Jane,” on the other hand, abandoned a successful research career to follow her husband across the country. She considered alternative careers and settled on junior college teaching. Although at first she wasn’t at home in the classroom (to put it mildly) she worked hard and eventually began to earn teaching awards. Her friends remain mystified but they agree she’s happy. (b) What will you do if the relationship changes after you move (or decide not move)? Recently I read about “Harriet” who bravely followed her husband to Japan, giving up her career and selling their New York apartment. Two weeks after she arrived in Japan, her husband announced he didn’t want to be married anymore. She was stranded, thousands of miles from home, with no Plan B. On the other hand, Tim and his partner moved to a small town, mainly for the partner’s artistic career. Tim, who had left a corporate executive position, reluctantly accepted a clerical job in a real estate agency. He decided to get a real estate license and turned out to have a real gift for the field – something he would never have suspected if he hadn’t taken the risk. And the partnership is more solid than ever. (c) Is your family more resilient than you realize? “Jim” and his family moved a thousand miles to be closer to his parents and grandchildren. Once moved, he discovered that everyone got along better if they saw each other less often. The grandchildren were entering their teen-aged “no grown-ups wanted” years. And his career had disappeared along the way. “Theresa,” a single parent, realized she had outgrown her lucrative position in the financial services industry. She returned to school at age 37, where she completed bachelors and masters degrees in theatre arts. Her teenager children supported her decision, although she warned them she wouldn’t be able to pay for their college educations. “My children learned that they can always go back to school,” she says. “I’m a role model for them.” At fifty she teaches in a theatre program and maintains a close relationship with her children. (d) Does someone in the family face a limited window of opportunity? In some fields, timing is everything. Military careers in the US often call for a stint in the Pentagon. Lawyers and academics need to move right after finishing professional school. Family members have windows outside the work world. I’ve met forty-year-olds who remain bitter over giving up places on high school athletic teams and cheering squads. A ballet dancer or musician can’t postpone lessons till ”later.” . (e) Does your family understand your career realities? “I’ve been looking for a career for six months and my family says it’s time I made a decision.” That’s a common challenge – and a career change typically takes up to three years. “If I can work long hours for the next two years, I’ll have lots of time and money for many years to come.” I don’t judge anyone’s decisions and I can’t speak about family dynamics or what’s “right.” But I urge everyone to consider career as well as family implications and to create a Plan B to deal with unexpected outcomes.

Should careers be compartmentalized?

Recent articles in the Wall Street Journal and New York Times will reassure you or scare you, depending on your own belief system. More and more employers are bringing faith-based beliefs (the PC term for "religion") into the workplace. So far, it seems, most are careful. They don't want to risk giving the appearance of prejudice. And the NY Times reports that employees of religious organizations cannot sue for rights they would have in secular organizations. So if you're dismissed because you're too old or too sick -- too bad. It's called the ministerial exception. Not a problem, warns the Times, except if you're diagnosed with cancer while you're covered by that organization's group policies. Good luck finding your own "affordable" insurance afterwards. I think the real problem is that in a society like ours, we need more compartmentalization, not less. We have an economic relationship with an employer. We offer skills and produce output. They pay us. We need to separate health care, religion and personal lives from the workplace. Bridges's book JobShift, published over ten years ago, had the right idea. Set up craft guilds where people can get group insurance, so they won't need to rely on the government or an employer. Once health care gets separated a lot of other stuff will go away...like employers who care if their workers smoke or gain weight. And while unfairly dismissed employees face economic, social and psychological hardship, getting fired shouldn't mean a choice between death and bankruptcy. Rick Jarow has pointed out that in this way we're not much different from medieval serfs who depended on the landowner's goodwill for survival. Otherwise I say, Stay marketable and independent. If you like your employer's beliefs -- faith-based or otherwise -- you'll be fine. If you feel uncomfortable, be able to walk away. Ironically, the tie-in of medical benefits makes it harder to be independent, forcing many employees to exist in what most resembles a love-starved marriage.

Ready, set go for your career change

Ready for a career change? Clients often call, eager to start, and then we discover some surprises. Whether the change is as small as taking on a new work assignment or as big as going back to school, here’s my own version of ready-set-go. Ready: Block off time in your calendar for “career exploration.” Once a client told me, “I can call you only on Sunday evening. I am completely booked the rest of the week. My job occupies me 24/7.” That was extreme. Career change takes time. You have to talk to live people – not just surf the Internet. Some will be available in the evenings and on weekends. But many will be available only during business hours. I recommend actually committing to certain hours to make sure you fit in your career change actions. Otherwise it’s too easy to back-burner them till “someday.” Get set: Write down the strengths of your current geographic location. When I was living in a small town in New Mexico, business development opportunities were quite limited. On the plus side, so were distractions. After moving to Seattle, I was surprised to find that even faraway clients were more willing to talk to me. A big-city address carried credibility. Or maybe I was just happier and more motivated. Sometimes your dream career will be located in another part of the city, country or even world. But I recommend starting with all the advantages of living and working where you are. Then use them as leverage if you decide to move. For example, your current location may allow you to save money or gain support from old friends. Go: Make a list of the important people in your life. Nearly everyone has a family and/or close friends who will be affected by career and relocation decisions. I recommend getting the family on board before investing a great deal of energy in a career change. You may experience short-term time and income pressures. You may be more stressed as you embark on a new venture (even if you are happy). Whenever family gets involved, I step out of the picture. I recommend consulting the experts: therapists, family counselors, and social workers. Not me. Your social support system changes too – more than most of us expect. Many midlife career changers have developed friendships based on shared professional interests. And let’s face it: when your friends are happily settled, they may not know how to support a friend-in-transition. They’re more at home talking about your marriage and kids. So consult your list. Next to each name write “wet blanket,” “cheerleader,” “encourager,” “poison dart,” “information resource,” or “mentor.” You may find some new categories of your own. Now it’s time for action. Poison darts and wet blankets should be removed from your address book and your cell phone contact list. Begin talking to mentors and information resources. As you explore, you should begin to feel energized. If not, change the labels on your list. The key is to get out there and take action...and not be drained by the nay-sayers and well-meaning (but misguided) advice-givers. And then it’s back to “rinse and repeat.” Review your time. Review your location. And keep talking to those people – more than you ever anticipated.

Great Career Advice: "Not What I Expected"

Q. “Hi, Cathy. I just took a job that represents a big step up in my field. As part of the package, I was promised a 10% bonus after 6 months. But it’s been nine months, I haven’t seen a dime and my boss changes the subject when I bring it up.” A. Believe it or not, I hear these stories often. Clients raise concerns whenever they embark on relationships with employers, contractors, suppliers, partners or clients. Here are a few suggestions (and readers may contribute more). (1) Before accepting a position (especially if you have to relocate), you need to know three things. (a) What are industry practices regarding bonuses, assignments and other conditions? If your company deviates widely from current practices, you need to know why. (b) What is your company’s reputation as an employer or contractor? A history of broken relationships should raise a red flag. (c) Will you get what you need to be effective? Territories for sales reps, labs for scientists, staff for executives, and so on. Don’t let anyone sabotage your success before you start. (2) Ignore promises of bonuses unless they’re in writing. If missing a bonus would be a deal-breaker, hire your own attorney to review the contract before you sign. Make sure you understand any terms and conditions. (3) Once a written promise has been broken, raise questions immediately. Deal directly with whoever has power to act. “Fred,” an accounting student I met in graduate school, was scheduled to teach a course for a local university. A few weeks before classes began, he inadvertently learned that he had been displaced. Someone else had been hired (presumably cheaper). Fred bypassed the department head, who had no power. He called the Associate Dean, saying, “Ken, I’m really sorry to bother you with this. I know how busy you are. But I’m afraid we have a contract. How would you like to handle this?” Fred kept his questions polite, even diffident. He told me the Associate Dean muttered a few swear words, followed by a few phone calls. Fred was soon back on the schedule. (4) Decide ahead of time if you are prepared to escalate. If your polite questions are ignored, it’s time to go into a legal huddle. Make absolutely sure you understand what was promised. Was this bonus contingent on a condition? Your lawyer should be the one to advise you now – and no one else. You probably won’t need to consider lawsuits or courts. Most companies will settle. (5) Don’t ask your career consultant for legal advice and don’t ask your lawyer for career guidance. In my experience, many lawyers will not understand how their advice may impact your long-term career goals. My friend “Ruth” negotiated a settlement with a company following a major dispute. Her lawyer warned, “You won’t get a good reference.” “True,” Ruth explained patiently, “But that’s not important. In my field, my portfolio gets me jobs.” You probably need to start job-hunting as soon as you question a broken promise – but not always. And even if you remain quiet, you need to consider the hidden story. And your lawyer can’t be a sounding board as you express your frustration and ponder your next move. Bottom Line: Nearly all of us learn about broken promises from experience, at least once. I believe it’s better to lay the groundwork before beginning any business association. Inevitably you’ll forget to consider at least one important element of any deal. But over time you get better and often an hour of consultation can save months (or years) of misery later on. The career consultant helps you figure out what you need; the lawyer makes sure the contract delivers. I cover a lot more in my irreverent job hunting guide .

Organizing for Life Space

Last week I attended a talk by Laura Leist, author of Organizing Chaos (isn’t that a cool name for a company?). Three principles seem to make special sense for organizing self as well as space. (1) Learn to let go of what you don’t need. This one is hard! When moving to Seattle, I have to admit that I, the Moving Lady herself, packed way too much stuff. Somehow, I didn’t stop to think that Seattle might have libraries, bookstores, and even a drugstore or two. Once delivered and unpacked, every possession became harder to discard. But I’m working on it. As we organize time for the forthcoming fall system, we can ask ourselves, “What can we get rid of – now? Books? Clothes? Possessions? Even subscriptions for magazines we no longer have time to read?” We can also get rid of wet blankets, commitments that no longer make sense and activities that used to be fun a long time ago. I was attending meetings of a social group...until I realized I felt bored during the meetings and drained afterward. Still, it was hard to stop going. They were so nice. (2) Decide whose purpose you are serving (and whether it’s real or imaginary). During the Q&A of Laura’s talk, one mother asked, “My parents think I should keep all my children’s possessions...their drawings from school, crafts and toys. She kept all mine and I couldn’t care less! In fact, I don’t even like most of them.” Obviously we keep some space, possessions and activities in our lives because we are responsible citizens. But how many times do we keep doing things because “someone” might be disappointed? Often we find out that “someone” doesn’t even notice. Some of my career change clients can’t find time to investigate new directions because they’re enmeshed in someone else’s real or imagined agenda. They’re carrying out time-consuming efforts because their boss wanted them to...but that boss has now retired and the new boss doesn’t notice. Or they think the family wants to celebrate every holiday with an elaborate feast...and half the family has gone on diets and would just as soon dine on carrots and celery with ice water. As I get older and more ornery, of course, I hear fewer suggestions for what I “ought” to do. Or maybe I just don’t “hear” them because I’ve gotten better at tuning them out. (3) Get creative. Living in a small space? Think “up” and use the very top part of your walls. Visual person? Some people can’t handle file folders. They prefer an open basket where they can see their bills and “to do” items. I myself tend to live with organized clutter, especially in my office. I can find anything. When I clean up for visitors, I spend days looking for what I’ve tidily tucked away. You can also get creative with time. These days, I have a lot of things delivered: super-size bags of dog food, bottled water, anything heavy. I’m a great believer in finding ways to make one hour do the work of three. But some things can’t be delegated and after all, we organize our lives to get time and space for the fun stuff...like a beautiful afternoon in the dog park, a symphony concert or a basketball game. You can order Laura Leist’s book through my amazon account: Click here to order. And I recommend my own Time Management System: Start saving time today! My ebooks are listed at http://www.cathygoodwin.com/books.html

College for the kids?

A reader asked me to settle an argument with her spouse. "I want my kids to have the very best college education," she writes, "although we'll have to dip into savings and forget about building retirement funds. My husband disagrees. He says they'll do just fine at a state university." First, a big disclaimer: I am not an expert on family, children or marital conflict. But I feel very confident saying, "Your children will most likely not be deprived if they attend a state university. In fact, they may be better off, depending on who they are." (1) Top universities offer access to demanding academics. If you have a child who absolutely loves intellectual interactions, and who's confident of his or her abilities, then a top university may well be a good investment. (2) A surprising number of state universities have first-rate honors programs. And a less prestigious program can actually showcase a bright student, who stands out from the crowd. I once knew a scientist who attended University of Arizona as an undergraduate. Because he was so motivated, he was invited to work with scientists on campus, contributing to publications and research in a meaningful way. A mentor helped him get accepted at a prestigious graduate program, with scholarships, and he went on to a brilliant career at an even more prestigious university. (3) Students who value interactions and "just hanging out with my friends" may go on to great careers because they're building relationships. Any university will be fine. (4) Campus activities -- even fraternities and sororities -- can lead to lifelong networking access. (5) Some students thrive on an elite campus with lots of contact with professors. Others actually do better when they feel more anonymous -- less "on." Some enjoy same-sex colleges because they feel free to be themselves. Others feel stifled and confined, as though they've embarked on four years of Ladies Who Lunch. On the other hand, attending a small school often bonds the students into a big fraternity. Women from my own college tend to feel a bond when we encounter one another, even if we're strangers. (6) No degree guarantees success. I attended a very fine women's college. Some of my classmates went on to become famous writers, artists, lawyers, entertainers, judges and public figures. Martha Stewart graduated from my college (a few years before me and I never met her). Some alums taught grade school, became librarians, or chose to be full-time wives and mothers. Some declared bankruptcy and I read about a homeless alumna in our official magazine. And I once fell into conversation with a nice young man behind the counter of a New Mexico UPS store, brown shirt and all. Turns out he graduated from Harvard and spent the rest of his life working for low wages in bookstores. The UPS job was a seasonal detour to earn more money. (7) Few degrees guarantee failure. "Melvin" attended a small religious college in a small Southern town. Most people would never have heard about it. He majored in French. When he applied for graduate school in business, his GMAT scores were abysmal. So he ended up at a lower-tier graduate school. But he hooked up with a mentor, applied himself, discovered an aptitude for research and went to a career at a university that was highly respected in his field. His record, reputation and financial success greatly surpass many students with more prestigious academic backgrounds. If your heart is set on sending a child to a top school, you won't be deterred by these examples. But if your financial status calls for choosing between college for the kids and a retirement plan for the parents, I would suggest you set up some meetings with a financial planner. Your highly educated children may not feel that "four wonderful years" are worth the trade-off of bailing out the parents when they're fifty. NOTE: This topic is controversial. Feel free to add a comment, agreeing or disagreeing! I save all comments (except those from spammers).

What's missing from this job hunt

Columnist Michelle Singletary writes about a Katrina survivor learning to "survive the job market." Latanya Howard relocated to Maryland, has received considerable training and support by still can't find a job. Howard seeks a job as a cashier or receptionist, while nearly all my readers seek professional level careers. Still, some factors influence every job campaign at every level. (1) Relocating to a place that doesn't enhance your strengths. In New Orleans, Howard took public transportation to work, but her new location calls for driving. Howard doesn't drive. Every region and every city will hold different challenges and opportunities: weather, cultural style, lifestyle, likelihood of finding other newcomers and more. Very few people will be happy living "anywhere." (2) Depression Not surprisingly, Singletary notes, Latanya Howard suffers severe depression after losing her home, job, possessions and most of her life. I tell clients to deal with their emotional and psychological well-being before setting out on a job hunt, let alone a career change. Depression, anxiety, stress and other psychological conditions will get in the way. Career consultants can't help. (3) Motivation To succeed in a job hunt, Singletary notes, you have to treat job hunting as a full-time job. My own clients often are surprised at the amount of time and energy a job hunt requires. Outplacement, career consulting and coaching all help sustain motivation and momentum. Singletgary's column appeared in today's Seattle Post-Intelligencer .

Too weird...or just right?

Recently I was invited to apply for a special program connected with an organization. Good visibility, I thought, so I said, "Okay." Then they said, "We need a conventional resume." I wanted to say, "You must be kidding." I haven't put together a conventional resume since 1981, when I began writing academic resumes. And now I have no need for a resume, conventional or otherwise. Do I spend hours and hours trying to reconstruct my life of 30 years ago? More likely I'll say, "Is there something else that would satisfy your requirements?" And then I'd live with their answer. Often organizations have requirements that make no sense. Usually these requirements raise a red flag: "These folks are weird. Don't work for them." My favorite: I was offered a writing project to create instructional material for a university group in the midwest. I was living in New Mexico, over a thousand miles away. I would work from home, on a project basis. The university wanted me to sign a statement swearing that I subscribe to a drug-free environment. Now, let me make one thing perfectly clear. The only drug in my home is catnip. Organic catnip, to be precise. But I was tempted to ask, "Does this mean Creampuff (my calico cat, who is somewhat addicted to this herb) must indulge outside my home office? Or are you going to fly someone here to check the aspirin bottles? We're just three hours from the nearest airport." They also had a pile of application forms with tiny little squares that had to be completed by hand. I declined. But sometimes organizations have weird requirements for applicants and then turn out to be nice as pie once you're in the In Crowd. My colleague "Marilyn" went through agonies applying for a college teaching job, many years ago. The hiring committee demanded to see her original diploma. They questioned her choices of graduate courses and dismissed her research as "light." I would have said, "No way." But Marilyn smiled and smiled. She answered every question and even wrote nice thank you notes to every single interviewer. She got the job. She loved the job. "They're treating me like a queen," she reported happily, several years later. So does that mean we should all be more like Marilyn? Not necessarily. Marilyn's intuition may have told her, "Hang in there. It's worth the hassle." She was there. I wasn't. And I might not have thrived in Marilyn's environment. Who knows? The only real lesson from all this is, "Keep your power. Build your financial base. Someday you're going to really, really want to decline an offer. Or you will want to accept on your own terms." When that happens, saying "no" can brighten a whole day.

"That job will always be there..."

You wouldn't believe how often we leave a field where we have a strong position, thinking, "I can always go back." Or, "They'll always make a place for me." Or, "I have unique skills and talents! Of course I can go back." So we leap off the dock and land in the ocean...way over our heads. And then we look for a life raft. What happened to that job? Well, the career field has changed. Or the boss who promised us, "You'll always have a home here" has retired. Or we've changed. We no longer fit in. Bottom Line: It's easier to hang on, even if the job is miserable, than to try to climb back aboard. Once you've been swimming around the ocean, your fingers get stiff. And then it's much tougher to hold on.

Moving from Small Town to Big City...

After four years in a small town, moving to a Big City sometimes feels like traveling to another planet. I'd advise anyone contemplating a similar move to (a) toss out every piece of clothing you own, because fashions change more than you'd imagine; (b) hold off on signing up for anything till you've been there at least a year; (c) plan to revise the way you think about your business; (d) avoid attending any networking meetings till you've found a good hairdresser and bought at least 2 new outfits; (e) don't expect to enjoy the same books, tapes, television shows and leisure activities you did. Everything changes.

Do we know each other?

These days we make ephemeral connections through the Internet. Someone takes a class from me (or with me). Someone googles my name and wants to get in touch...after five or ten or twenty years. So I get a mysterious email like the one I got today. "Mary Jones announces she has started a blog." Who on earth is Mary Jones? No clue: she sent her announcement to a bcc list so I can't place her in context. Well, she's probably a terrific person, but I'll never know. The links to her new blog don't work either.

Was that interview for real?

Q. "I'm still dizzy from my latest encounter. Aargh. I went on an interview that should have been a slam-dunk...and nothing happened. I felt like they were putting on a show." A. You are absolutely right: many interviews are just for show. And you are absolutely wise (in my opinion, anyway) to consider alternatives like solo-preneurship. And although companies say they're searching for the right candidate, sometimes they already hired someone -- and they are jumping through hoops for the HR department. It can have an upside. I once had a delightful trip to Boston as the "other candidate." I asked if I could stay over an extra couple of nights at my own expense. No problem, they said - we'll pick up on tab. A guilt trip? I sure hope so! Note: This article is based in part on my Job Search Book: Click here to learn more.

Unsolicited advice: Not from their intuition

Some time ago I fell into conversation with "Gretchen," another business consultant at a networking event. It was late. I'd had a glass of wine and was feeling relaxed...too relaxed! So I shared some of the challenges I was facing with my own business. Should I change the name. Should I attend a specific event. Aargh. And then I went home, got busy with the dog and a couple of new clients, and forgot the conversation. A few days later I was pleased to open my email and see a message from Gretchen. How nice, I thought. She's following up with a nice "glad to meet you note." Instead, Gretchen treated me to a long, long list of suggestions for my business. I appreciated her concern for me, but I couldn't help wondering. If she's busy and successful, why would she spend the time writing me an email? I'm a fast writer. It would have taken me at least an hour. And I don't give away my time. And if she knows her business, she should remember the cardinal rule of consulting (and coaching, for that matter). Information first. Recommendations second. Finally. Gretchen is not a business consultant or a marketing consultant. Even if I like her ideas, wouldn't I want to check them out? If I asked Gretchen, she'd probably say, "My intuition for you is..." But I would respond, "That's pseudo-intuition. Real intuition does not lead to unsolicited advice. Ever." Bottom Line: I'm going to remind my own clients to beware of unsolicited advice, getting or giving. Typically you just get paid in frustration. Note: This article is based in part on my Special Report on Intuition: Click here to learn more.