"That job will always be there..."

You wouldn't believe how often we leave a field where we have a strong position, thinking, "I can always go back." Or, "They'll always make a place for me." Or, "I have unique skills and talents! Of course I can go back." So we leap off the dock and land in the ocean...way over our heads. And then we look for a life raft. What happened to that job? Well, the career field has changed. Or the boss who promised us, "You'll always have a home here" has retired. Or we've changed. We no longer fit in. Bottom Line: It's easier to hang on, even if the job is miserable, than to try to climb back aboard. Once you've been swimming around the ocean, your fingers get stiff. And then it's much tougher to hold on.

Moving from Small Town to Big City...

After four years in a small town, moving to a Big City sometimes feels like traveling to another planet. I'd advise anyone contemplating a similar move to (a) toss out every piece of clothing you own, because fashions change more than you'd imagine; (b) hold off on signing up for anything till you've been there at least a year; (c) plan to revise the way you think about your business; (d) avoid attending any networking meetings till you've found a good hairdresser and bought at least 2 new outfits; (e) don't expect to enjoy the same books, tapes, television shows and leisure activities you did. Everything changes.

Do we know each other?

These days we make ephemeral connections through the Internet. Someone takes a class from me (or with me). Someone googles my name and wants to get in touch...after five or ten or twenty years. So I get a mysterious email like the one I got today. "Mary Jones announces she has started a blog." Who on earth is Mary Jones? No clue: she sent her announcement to a bcc list so I can't place her in context. Well, she's probably a terrific person, but I'll never know. The links to her new blog don't work either.

Was that interview for real?

Q. "I'm still dizzy from my latest encounter. Aargh. I went on an interview that should have been a slam-dunk...and nothing happened. I felt like they were putting on a show." A. You are absolutely right: many interviews are just for show. And you are absolutely wise (in my opinion, anyway) to consider alternatives like solo-preneurship. And although companies say they're searching for the right candidate, sometimes they already hired someone -- and they are jumping through hoops for the HR department. It can have an upside. I once had a delightful trip to Boston as the "other candidate." I asked if I could stay over an extra couple of nights at my own expense. No problem, they said - we'll pick up on tab. A guilt trip? I sure hope so! Note: This article is based in part on my Job Search Book: Click here to learn more.

Unsolicited advice: Not from their intuition

Some time ago I fell into conversation with "Gretchen," another business consultant at a networking event. It was late. I'd had a glass of wine and was feeling relaxed...too relaxed! So I shared some of the challenges I was facing with my own business. Should I change the name. Should I attend a specific event. Aargh. And then I went home, got busy with the dog and a couple of new clients, and forgot the conversation. A few days later I was pleased to open my email and see a message from Gretchen. How nice, I thought. She's following up with a nice "glad to meet you note." Instead, Gretchen treated me to a long, long list of suggestions for my business. I appreciated her concern for me, but I couldn't help wondering. If she's busy and successful, why would she spend the time writing me an email? I'm a fast writer. It would have taken me at least an hour. And I don't give away my time. And if she knows her business, she should remember the cardinal rule of consulting (and coaching, for that matter). Information first. Recommendations second. Finally. Gretchen is not a business consultant or a marketing consultant. Even if I like her ideas, wouldn't I want to check them out? If I asked Gretchen, she'd probably say, "My intuition for you is..." But I would respond, "That's pseudo-intuition. Real intuition does not lead to unsolicited advice. Ever." Bottom Line: I'm going to remind my own clients to beware of unsolicited advice, getting or giving. Typically you just get paid in frustration. Note: This article is based in part on my Special Report on Intuition: Click here to learn more.

Midlife Career Change Can Be A Crisis

Looking for a reality check? Check out the Wall Street Journal's online Career Forums. There's one thread about midlife career -- with over 400 posts, the biggest of all. And some of the most frustrating. I wish I could tell everyone, "Stop pounding on closed doors. At some point, it's easier to go solo." And don't wait too long: right after you lose your job, go into multi-tasking mode. Spend part of each day networking and answering ads for your next job. And then stop and start planning for a new self-employed career. Hire coaches and consultants while you can still afford them. See my article on mentors

Beware the city stereotypes

An experienced marketer said, "You're living in Seattle! You have access to all sorts of networking events!" True. But many are in Bellevue - an inconvenient hour (and lightyears in mindset) away from me. Every city has hidden quirks. Some offer respect only to residents who lasted three winters or five years. Some still socialize with their old high school classmates and you won't break in easily. I once met a family who moved to Philadelphia because their daughter got accepted at the prestigious Curtis Institute of Music. With substantial experience in specialty retail, the father anticipated no problem in getting a job. But in fact only two stores appeared -- and both were fully staffed. Research first to avoid disappointment afterward. For more see my Report on Moving.

[Your career strategy] Good article here

It's rare to find accurate articles in the Real World, but I really liked this one about top career myths: http://tinyurl.com/fu8wo I especially agree with the author's points about negotiating: anyone can negotiate. And I also emphasize that compensation issues often have to arise before you get to the very end of the process. You need to find out if you're both wasting time. I can't resist pointing out my own downloadable Irreverent Job Search Guide, which makes many similar points: Click here.