Q. I am a manager with eight direct reports. I received a couple of Christmas gifts this last season and don't know how to handle the situation. Should I give them back? What can I say?
A. Begin by digging a little deeper.
Why are these employees sending gifts? Was there a custom from their previous department? Are they your best or your worst employees?
I wouldn't hurt their feelings or make them feel bad. Instead of returning the gift, can you either share with the whole group (as Eric suggested) or donate to a charity? You could say, "I realize I should have clarified our policy on gift-giving." And send out a memo as soon as possible.
When I was a college professor, students (especially those from Asia) often gave me gifts. If the course was over and the student was from another country, I sometimes felt I had to accept. But I tried to educate students: the best gift
to a professor is a nice letter of appreciation with copies to the dean and maybe VP-Academic Affairs.
And a neighbor who's a police officer shared a funny story. In Seattle, cops pay for all their food and coffee. They do not accept freebies. A new officer from the South breezed through the Dunkin Donuts without paying, just waving a thank you. Her supervisor had to call to explain, "We don't do that here. You have to go back and pay."
She wasn't being mean -- she just assumed that was the custom. And your employees may feel the same way.
However, inappropriate gifts can be a warning signal. In one university where I was teaching, a married couple showed up to interview for two positions. As is customary, they were invited to an administrator's home for dinner. Afterward they sent a lovely floral arrangement.
This gesture was highly inappropriate and not at all customary. The couple was hired and went on to become the greatest trouble-makers in the department's history.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
Author, Career/Business Consultant, Speaker
"Why most career change fails (and how to write your own success story)"
http://www.cathygoodwin.com/subscribe.html
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